About Ms. Dalloway (Depression: Trim #1, alt ending)
About Ms. DallowayJust to be sure,I want you to knowthere is nothing special about today. The sunilluminates us allin the usual fashion.The sky is as graciousa blue and puffy whiteas it has ever...
View ArticleRe: About Ms. Dalloway (Depression: Trim #1, alt ending)
I do not mind a descriptive poem, but I have a complete photograph of every item the speaker owns. That is overkill by the end of the second strophe. I urge you to trim this down to the bare bones,...
View ArticleRe: About Ms. Dalloway (Depression: Trim #1, alt ending)
Oh, if you do leave an edit here, please keep the original up... I certainly wouldn't mind browsing through it for stronger images, as I think there is a lot of raw material to work with.
View ArticleRe: About Ms. Dalloway (Depression: Trim #1, alt ending)
Isn't it amazing though, how hard it is to tolerate for five measley minutes what i have been struggling with for two years? I am glad you saw what I was going for. That means a lot. And just...
View ArticleRe: About Ms. Dalloway (Depression: Trim #1, alt ending)
Here are two poems:1) Frank O'Hara[ MELANCHOLY BREAKFAST ]Melancholy breakfastblue overhead blue underneaththe silent egg thinksand the toaster's electical ear waitsthe stars are in"that...
View ArticleRe: About Ms. Dalloway (Depression: Trim #1, alt ending)
the too-muchness ryan speaks of, though i theoretically disagree w/him, manifests in my unwillingness to do a line-by-line here. i keep thinking of...damnit, Fellini, anita ekberg? the fountain, the...
View ArticleRe: About Ms. Dalloway (Depression: Trim #1, alt ending)
LoQI, you may hate me for saying this but i don't like either of those poems. They sound like washed out intellectual dribble that is afraid to feel a real emotion that will overwhelm it. They seem...
View ArticleRe: About Ms. Dalloway (Depression: Trim #1, alt ending)
The extensive list poem doesn't engenderer the sense of depression any more than a shorter version which comes to the emotion, and doesn't get sidelined in minutiae. I'd love to see you craft a...
View ArticleRe: About Ms. Dalloway (Depression: Trim #1, alt ending)
Jim, i thank you for chiming in on such thise tedious poem. I will consider it carefully.LoQI please don't be angry with me I do appreciate all of the input you've given me. -Deidre
View Article
